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To all my busy friends, show up in my life too- it matters

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It doesn't take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog- maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other end.  Someone who shows u
Recent posts

Current world (and when the doves for peace hid behind their leaves)

Remember those illustrated circles of holding hands, with different ethnicities and all kinds of flags, remember the schools teachings of UN children's convention- a right to be safe- and the hope it gave, "From now on they would all be treated the same." If a pact was broken, the protector would never cave- like a lioness it would reach out and save its children (our children) from pain.  Instead, when needed, the courage is in hiding, and so are the doves of peace- they hide behind their leaves.  The words are visible, but where is the care, where is the lioness in all this despair ?  The west was supposed to be a creator of peace and safety, but here we are, digging a grave. Death toll is rising as we vote whether or not to intervene, Children are dying as they flee.  This is where my mind is at, it is a mess, all the trust I had for the big ones; our policies- a harbor of safety, it has left.  And what about our children in the west ? What are we teaching them at best

Grandpas legacy

My grandpa passed away some years ago. For a long time during my teenage years and some into adulthood I felt light-years away from him, in our morals and teachings to follow. I was only looking at him like a priest, with his bible, a hungry need for being in the spotlight (he was a well liked radio host, preacher, author, playwright, ceremony holder, documentary film maker, pilgrim arranger, met the pope once- you name it). When I was feeling down at the age of 17 he wrote me a letter about watching more of TV7 (a local conservative evangelical christian channel), he told me it made his days brighter and that I should try it too. PS. He was not conservative, I think. We never talked much- not really. He had 3 grandchildren.  I do not think that he ever really knew me, and neither did I take my time to view him as a person behind the priesthood which he so often talked about . But when I look back on him now- as I found myself and stand supported, I can see past the job he had chosen (

Radio Silence - Assumed (and other things me and my anxiety has had to learn to work through)

Anxiety, as you well may or may not know is a crippling feeling. It affects your heartbeat, brainwaves, thoughts, assumptions and actions there after. The good thing however (I've found) is that the horse can be tamed- breaks to your ever spinning wheel (like medicine- serotonin I bow to you, self-discovery, honesty and a little bit of love and laughter at the solutions your mind would like to rush you in to) can be put in place and (for the most part) maintained. Plus, be kind to yourself when you hit a set-back, these things are bound to happen (and you are after all only human. not one of those floating zen creatures with a crystal on you forehead- but hey neither are you the Hulk (phew) ).  Sometimes it is social anxiety- to me this tends to happen when I walk into an acquaintance, note that I do not have the same problem with close friends or strangers. But there is something about acquaintances from either my times at school or Uni- people I only otherwise now see on social m

Embrace the awkward- life is too short to stay on the sideline

Lately I`ve been thinking about how the fear of "it being awkward" can keep us from fully living, making new friends and following our hearts true desire. People often ask me how I dare to travel alone and live in hostels; Isn't it awkward to be alone- and what about when there are groups of friends and you are the only one "alone", or what about if you approach them and they don`t catch on... ?  First of all hostels(as my first example) are social (usually), and in most instances you are not the only one travelling alone- and if you are afraid of the awkwardness that comes with the first approach, that is only a natural part of it- and it is awkward and scary the first times, you are after all suddenly sleeping and "living" in the same room and sometimes bed with around 5-10 strangers of all ages and from all over the world - but the more social the hostel and the more "alumni of solo travel" your new dorm-mates are, the more natural and str

True friendship invites you in everytime

What does true friendship mean to you ? To me it means that they will dance with you in any room like no one is watching (even though there might be other people around who would roll their eyes, feel second hand embarrassment or share and whisper into the rooms you move through). This dancing is of course a metaphor (but doesn't have to be), it could be referring to opening up, talking deep, listening wholeheartedly to both of your biggest worries or biggest dreams- it does not matter if those around do not think that deep- with me you can be you at any time any place, and I hope I can be that with you too. That is what true friendship means to me. We can laugh out loud or cry if we need to, be  as we are in that moment in time, in good and bad (as long as we work on ourselves, and hold ourselves, and each-other accountable) no-one is left (out of embarrassment) aside. That is a word that true friendship leaves behind.  When I was a child I was often embarrassed of myself, I often

Paw Patrol at the adults table- how its okay to feel like the odd one out

Are you also struggling in social situations when small talk is exchanged ? Do you, like me, feel like a awkwardly jolly firecracker or a burst of rainbows trying to fit in with the beige that the situation seems to require and everyone else seems content with and managing ? I often wonder how it seems to come so easy to others.. -Side note;  I'm lucky to say that through finding myself later in adult life I have found hobbies that fit my personality- and friends who do not look or walk away, but join me in my charades or big deep and sudden topics(and who's brain seems to vividly and unapologetically work the same way). Also, similar to you or not- true friends will adore (and sometimes tolerate) your silly ways.  Its not to say that I can't act plain, I can play the beige card- laugh subtly, not make too much noise, stay calm and only stick to beige topics, like; hows school, hows work, hows the food, was it a long drive.. ? And I can even stay quiet, shove myself aside.